


You told the drunks I knew karate

by Authumnder



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Authumnder/pseuds/Authumnder
Summary: If it isn’t clear before, Dylan’s kind of, sort of in love with Zach.
Relationships: Dylan Larkin/Zach Werenski
Kudos: 67





	You told the drunks I knew karate

**Author's Note:**

> This is a desperate attempt at breaking my writing's block, hope it doesn't suck too much! Title and inspiration from a song with the same name by Zoey Van Goey.

“This wasn’t… a good idea.”

Dylan resists the walloping urge to roll his eyes. Fails, and gets a sudden vertigo when he does so. His whole body shakes with it, and he almost loses his footing, but Zach’s there before he could drop to his death.

“Whoa, dude, careful there,” Zach says, his hands tangled all over Dylan’s body to the point that Dylan isn’t sure where his own limbs end and Zach’s begin. It doesn’t matter.

Dylan’s so drunk, it’s not great anymore.

“I didn’t know your alcohol tolerance’s like, shit,” Zach’s still saying, and Dylan keeps listening, even though he doesn’t want to. He feels like falling asleep, instead. “Dyl! Don’t fall asleep on me!”

...Or maybe not. Honestly Dylan’s not sure about anything anymore.

“Can’t we just stay here?” Dylan slurs.

Zach looks around them, stares back at Dylan with ‘you kidding?’ look, except Dylan’s not kidding, like, at all. He’s seriously contemplating just going to sleep right here and now.

“Dylan, we’re on the roof!”

Dylan’s… aware that they’re on the roof, at least. Doesn’t lessen his urge his to sleep here, though.

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do,” Zach says. His voice is mesmerizingly clear, which is surpising, considering he was the one to whip out the flask of gin he stole from his mom’s kitchen, plus Dylan’s sure they drank the same amount of the alcohol. Like, pretty sure.

“Z, why are you not drunk,” Dylan says, muffled.

“Dude, trust me, I am, you’re just, like, absolutely plastered,” Zach says. Dylan’s not watching him, but he can hear the eye roll very clearly. Dylan doesn’t know why, but he rolls his eyes as well, and the vertigo comes back, full force.

“Z, the world’s spinning!”

Dylan wakes up the next day with the worst case of headache, mouth tasting like he just spent the night before chewing on dirty towels—which isn’t a great imagery at all because now he _has _to throw up. He makes a quick dash to the bathroom even though he’s not sure his head is attached correctly to his neck. It feels like it’s not.

It totally isn’t the best way to start a day.

He comes back to his bed with a Zach-shaped lump under the blanket hapazhardly thrown across half of his body, his stupid face shoved into Dylan’s pillow. Dylan just knows that he’s drooling on it, but like, it doesn’t really matter, so he just forcefully slips his body under the blanket.

Later, when Dylan’s consciousness surfaces again, Zach’s awake and leaning against the bed frame.

“Morning, drunkface,” he says, sipping on a mug of what Dylan pretty sure is coffee. “Your mom made coffee and told me to tell you that if we want breakfast we should go downstairs soon.”

“Fuck,” Dylan says. His head’s still pounding, which isn’t surprising, really. But if this is how he’s gonna feel every time he drinks he probably won’t do it again. Keyword _probably_. “The fuck was last night anyway?”

“We were stargazing,” Zach answers easily.

“On the roof outside my window,” Dylan says. “Without like, telescope or shit.”

“Yep,”

“We didn’t see no stars,”

“Nope,”

Dylan groans. “Fuck, Z, I almost died!”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Zach says, placing his cup on the nightstand. “You almost slipped like, twice,”

“I almost fell off the roof _twice_!”

“Keyword _almost_,”

Dylan doesn’t know why they’re friends.

“You want that breakfast?” Zach asks, getting up from the bed. “‘Cause I do and I’m not gonna promise to leave you something,”

“You’re the worst,” Dylan says, getting up as well. “Wait, does my mom knows we were drinking last night?”

Zach stops, turns towards with a sheepish smile set on his face. “I’m assuming yes? She scrunched her nose when she came in earlier,” he says, copying the movement.

Fuck, Dylan’s so dead.

“Fuck, I’m so dead,”

Zach only cackles maniacally. Again, Dylan’s not sure why he’s still friends with the bastard.

“How come you don’t have like, headache and shit?” Dylan requires as they descend through the stairs. He’s grasping the staircase’s rail tightly, not trusting his legs to not accidentally slip and kill him.

“Oh, man, I did,” Zach says. Dylan doubts it. He’s walking in a straight line and his face is not one of those suffering. Dylan would even go as far as calling him good looking if it weren’t for the yesterday clothes Zach’s still wearing and the bed hair. Though, to be honest, it’s a cute bed hair. Don’t tell Zach Dylan says that, though. “It just dissipates quickly after watching you deteriorate so much.”

Dylan pushes him.

“Ow, Dyl! You could’ve killed me!” Zach yells, grappling on the rail.

Dylan takes it back. Nothing about Zach is cute.

***

“Dylan,”

“No.”

“Listen first,”

“No.”

“Dylan,”

“Zachary.”

Zach smacks him. “Ew, dude, don’t call me that,” he says. “But listen,”

“Nope.”

“You suck,” Zach says, throwing his face away. When Dylan glances at him, he’s frowning really hard, and suddenly Dylan has trouble rejecting him anymore.

“Alright, fine, let’s hear it.”

Zach turns to him again, sporting a huge excited grin that forces Dylan to make a feigned annoyed face—because else his face’s going to break into a smile as well. “Okay, so here’s what we’re gonna do,”

Zach’s plan is as impossible as the stargazing one, or basically any other plans he’s ever come up with, which says a lot about Dylan when he nods his agreement instead of protesting or asking for some more details. Dylan’s pretty used to being unreasonable when it comes to Zach, at least to some degree, and so far Zach’s idiotic plans haven’t landed them in jail or something along that line, so maybe they’re not idiotic as they seem.

That’s what they do on Friday night, Dylan sneakily telling his mom that he’s staying over at Zach’s and Zach sneakily telling his mom that he’s staying over at Dylan’s. That’s worked plenty times, both moms too trusting and unsuspecting, and Dylan’d feel bad for abusing his mom’s confidence in him if it’s literally any other person but Zach on the other end, but as it is, it’s Zach, and Dylan’s always been stupid about Zach, so this isn’t like, surprising at all.

The college party they’re crashing is already at its peak when they get there, the shitty music can be heard from three houses away, and Zach makes an excited face as they look around. Dylan’s interest lays in the kitchen—because of the chips, yes—but Zach wants to check out the living room where it’s the loudest, so they split up and make a promise to text each other when they wanna leave, make sure your phone’s in your pocket at all times, Dylan, and for fuck’s sake don’t get too drunk again or I’m leaving your ass here.

Except it doesn’t go as they expected, at all. Dylan actually… didn’t have expectation regarding the party, unless hoping for consumable chips counts, so he doesn’t stay in the kitchen for a long time, but when he wanders across the next room he finds that there’s a crowd screaming their heads off with Zach and a bulky dude in the middle of it.

Let him repeat—there’s a crowd with Zach and a bodybuilder or some sort who doesn’t look very fond of Zach right now in the middle of it.

Dylan honest to god can’t begin to state how wrong that situation is. He’s still gaping when Bodybuilder swings at Zach’s jaw, and that’s. Fuck.

“Hey, stop! Hey!” Dylan yells, which doesn’t do a lot considering half of the room is yelling as well. He bodychecks his way into Zach, jabbing people left and right, and immediately snatches Zach away from Bodybuilder when he succeeds. “What’s going on here?”

Zach’s face brightens when he sees Dylan. “Dylan!” he exclaims, “so nice to see you! Here, fucker, my friend Dylan knows karate, try to beat him if you can!”

Again, Dylan can’t begin to state how wrong that is, but before he can say his denial Bodybuilder already motioning closer and fuck. Like hell Dylan’s getting himself beaten to a pulp tonight.

“Z, what the fuck,” Dylan whispers, glaring at Zach, but Zach’s holding his hand tightly and Dylan can feel tremors going through their tangled hands. Meanwhile Bodybuilder’s smiling this creepy smile and stepping closer and closer and closer and Dylan has no choice but to belt out, “Run, run!” and pulls Zach towards the closest exit he could see.

“Hey!” Bodybuilder yells.

***

If it isn’t clear before, Dylan’s kind of, sort of in love with Zach.

Like, Dylan’s pretty sure. Because it’s been years, and the feelings haven’t lessened, and Dylan’s still stupid enough about him to keep saying yes whenever Zach asks him to do dumb things with him, _dumbest things_.

If it isn’t obvious to you, here, have some more stupidity:

  1. Zach comes over Dylan’s at 2:30 am once, and unlike literally any normal person, he pelted Dylan’s window with pebbles until Dylan’s awake enough to yell at him, but couldn’t, because it’s 2:30 am and Dylan’s smart enough to not wake up the neighborhood and get yelled back for it. The reason? “I wanted brownies,” Zach says, lifting the plastic bag he has in his hand, probably filled with packages of brownie batter. Does Dylan tell him all the things that’s wrong with that and turn him away? No. Dylan heaves a sigh and lets him into the house and bakes the goddamn brownies for him.
  2. The pizza parlor close-ish to their school has a free pizza event for couples on Valentine’s day. “This isn’t like, a fraud, Dylan. We’re just going in to get free pizza. Like, we won’t be saying lies to them, I’ll just hold your hand and they’ll automatically believe we’re a couple.” Zach says, convincing in the most unconvincing way possible. Dylan agrees, because he’s not gonna say no to free pizza, but also, maybe, possibly, because he kind of wants Zach to hold his hand. He gets more than what he bargained for, in the end, because the pizza girl totally doesn’t buy their lie about being a couple and asks for some sort of proof and Zach, being Zach, kisses him smack dab on the lips. This Dylan will bring to his grave, but for a split second, he enjoys the hell out of that kiss.
  3. Zach once asks Dylan to help him climb the tree on his backyard, because he “wants to see the world around them better.” Does Dylan tell him that his three-stories house literally have a balcony overseeing ‘the world’? No. Dylan climbs up the fucking tree and, shortly after, breaks his collarbone when he slips on a branch.
  4. One time Zach invites Dylan to sneak into a public rink after closing time. Dylan reluctantly says yes even though there’s no way they’re getting through this one without getting arrested. (Zach changes his mind at the last minute and they reroute to an ice cream shop, instead.)
  5. Apparently Zach accidentally hits on a girl whose boyfriend is a bodybuilder at the college party they crashed. Then, when he’s been found out by said bodybuilder boyfriend, he throws Dylan under the bus by telling the guy to fight Dylan instead because Dylan “knows karate.” Does Dylan get mad at him and leave him right there and then to save his own ass? No. Dylan snatches his hand and helps him get away, instead.
  6. When asked how he could _accidentally _hit on someone, Zach’s answer is, “Because I was trying to prove something to you.” Dylan keeps his mouth shut even though he has a hundred question marks flying through his head, that is, until Zach says again, all defensive, “I was trying to make sure you have feelings for me, okay? Because I do. Fuck. I have, like, disgusting feelings about you.”
  7. It says a lot that Dylan doesn’t make fun of him despite the half-assed kind of sort of possibly confession, instead says, solemnly, “You’re dumb as fuck if you think I am not crazy dumb about you.”
  8. The scrambly, all-teeth kiss that follows right after.


End file.
